Mr. Haynes Explains Stepparent Adoptions in Tennessee

If you have found your way to this blog post, put your bootstraps on. This is going to be a lengthy mouthful. I found myself not just writing a blog post, but really more of a “how to” guide for step-parent adoptions in Tennessee. There are a lot of moving parts here, so let’s get going!

When people call my office about a stepparent adoption, they usually think they are asking about one legal process.

In reality, they are usually asking about two.

The first part is the hard part: terminating the parental rights of the biological parent who is being replaced.

The second part is the easier part: the adoption itself.

That distinction matters.

A stepparent adoption is not just a name change. It is not just paperwork. It is not just the court recognizing what the family already feels emotionally.

A stepparent adoption permanently changes the child’s legal family. One parent’s rights are ended, and the stepparent becomes the child’s legal parent.

That is a big deal.

Who Can File for a Stepparent Adoption in Tennessee?

In a typical stepparent adoption, the petitioner is married to one of the child’s legal or biological parents. The stepparent files the adoption petition, and the parent who is married to the stepparent usually joins in the petition as a co-petitioner.

That is important.

The parent who is keeping parental rights is not “giving up” the child. That parent remains the child’s parent. The adoption is designed to add the stepparent as a legal parent and remove the other biological parent whose rights are being surrendered or terminated.

For example, if a child lives with Mother and Stepdad, and Stepdad wants to adopt the child, Mother usually joins in the petition. If the adoption is granted, Stepdad becomes the child’s legal father. The biological father’s rights are terminated, unless they have already been terminated previously.

Adoption Usually Means Termination First, Adoption Second

This is the part people often misunderstand.

Before a stepparent can adopt a child, the parental rights of the other parent generally have to be dealt with.

That can happen in a few different ways.

The cleanest way is for the other parent to consent. The harder way is to prove legal grounds to terminate that parent’s rights. Either way, the court cannot simply pretend the other parent does not exist.

Tennessee law treats parental rights as serious constitutional rights. A parent does not lose those rights just because the other parent remarried, just because the stepparent is more involved, or just because the biological parent has been disappointing.

The court has to have a legal basis to end that parent-child relationship.

Once that issue is handled, the adoption itself is usually the easier part.

The Fastest Path: The Other Parent Consents

The easiest way to fast-track a stepparent adoption is for the other biological parent to cooperate.

In many uncontested stepparent adoptions, the parent whose rights are being surrendered can join as a party to the adoption petition and consent to the adoption. When that happens, the case is usually much smoother, faster, and less expensive.

This is often the best route when everyone agrees that the stepparent adoption is in the child’s best interest.

For example, maybe the biological father has not been involved for years, the child views the stepfather as dad, and the biological father is willing to sign. Or maybe the biological mother has been absent, the child has lived with father and stepmother for a long time, and everyone agrees it is time to make the family legally match reality.

Those cases are much easier.

Not always emotionally easy.

But legally easier.

The Next Best Option: A Surrender Hearing

Sometimes the adoption starts out contested, but the other parent later decides not to fight it.

In that situation, the parent may go through a formal surrender hearing after the petition has already been filed. That is more work than having the parent join in the original petition, but it is still usually much easier than trying a fully contested termination of parental rights case.

A surrender hearing gives the court a formal record that the parent understands what he or she is doing. The parent is not just signing a random paper at the kitchen table. The court wants to make sure the surrender is knowing, voluntary, and legally valid.

Once the surrender is completed, the case can move toward finalizing the adoption.

Contested Stepparent Adoptions Are Really Termination Cases

If the other parent does not consent, the case becomes much more serious.

At that point, the stepparent and the parent who is keeping rights must prove grounds to terminate the other parent’s rights. They must also prove that termination is in the child’s best interest.

This is why I tell people that contested stepparent adoptions are really termination of parental rights cases first and adoption cases second.

The adoption is the destination.

Termination is the mountain you have to climb to get there.

Common Grounds for Termination in Contested Stepparent Adoptions

There are several possible grounds for terminating parental rights in Tennessee. Not every ground applies to every case. The facts matter.

In stepparent adoption cases, the most common grounds usually involve abandonment, failure to support, failure to visit, lack of a meaningful relationship, failure to manifest an ability and willingness to parent, or conduct showing the parent is not able or willing to assume responsibility for the child.

The court also has to find that termination is in the child’s best interest.

That is important.

A court does not terminate parental rights simply because the stepparent would be a better parent. The court has to find legal grounds and best interest.

Abandonment by Failure to Visit

One of the most common grounds in contested stepparent adoptions is abandonment by failure to visit.

This ground is very specific.

For a child who is four years old or older, the court is usually looking at the four consecutive months immediately before the petition is filed. During that four-month period, did the parent visit the child? Did the parent have more than token visitation? Or did the parent basically disappear?

That four-month period matters.

It is not enough to say, “He has never been a good father,” or “She has barely been around.” Those facts may matter, but for abandonment by failure to visit, the court is going to focus heavily on the statutory lookback period before the petition was filed.

“Token visitation” means visitation that is so minimal, infrequent, or superficial that it does not really amount to a meaningful parent-child relationship.

A parent cannot usually avoid this issue by showing up once in a blue moon and claiming, “See, I visited.”

Courts look at the real relationship.

Did the parent actually maintain contact?

Did the parent spend time with the child?

Did the parent act like a parent?

Or did the parent disappear and only reappear when court papers were filed?

Timing is critical. If the parent visited during the four months before filing, that may create a problem for proving abandonment by failure to visit. If the parent did not visit during that period, then the next issue may be whether the failure to visit was willful.

That can become especially important when the parent was incarcerated, hospitalized, blocked from contact by a court order, or otherwise claims they could not visit.

For children under four years old, Tennessee law uses a shorter three-month lookback period instead of four months.

Abandonment by Failure to Support

Another common ground is abandonment by failure to support.

Again, the timing matters.

For a child who is four years old or older, the court is usually looking at the four consecutive months immediately before the petition is filed. During that four-month period, did the parent pay support? Did the parent make reasonable payments toward support? Or did the parent pay nothing, or only make token payments?

This does not always mean the parent had to pay a huge amount of money. But it does mean the parent had a duty to support the child and failed to do so in a meaningful way.

A parent who sends $20 once every few months may not be able to claim they supported the child in any real sense.

The court may look at questions like:

Was there a child support order?

Did the parent pay it?

If there was no order, did the parent still provide support?

Did the parent buy clothes, food, diapers, school supplies, medicine, or anything else for the child?

Did the parent have the ability to help but simply chose not to?

Failure to support can be powerful evidence in a stepparent adoption, especially when combined with failure to visit.

But like failure to visit, failure to support can raise willfulness issues. A parent may argue that they did not have the ability to pay, that they were incarcerated, that they were disabled, that they did not know where to send support, or that there was some other reason support was not paid.

That does not mean the defense will work.

But it does mean these cases are fact-specific.

For children under four years old, Tennessee law uses a three-month lookback period for abandonment instead of four months.

Incarcerated Parents and Abandonment

Incarcerated parents create special issues in termination of parental rights cases.

Sometimes a parent is in jail or prison during the relevant time period. That can complicate an abandonment argument because the parent may claim the failure to visit or support was not willful.

For example, if a parent was incarcerated during the entire four months before the petition was filed, that parent may argue, “I could not visit because I was locked up,” or “I could not pay support because I had no income.”

That does not automatically defeat a termination case, but it does mean the lawyer has to be careful about which grounds are being alleged and how those grounds are proven.

Tennessee law also contains specific abandonment provisions for incarcerated parents. Depending on the facts, the court may look at the parent’s conduct during the period immediately before incarceration or certain periods when the parent was not incarcerated.

In plain English, a parent should not be able to avoid responsibility simply by being in and out of jail over and over again.

Frequent incarceration may also support other grounds for termination, depending on the facts. A parent who is repeatedly incarcerated may be unable to provide stability, unable to maintain a meaningful relationship, unable to support the child, and unable to assume custody or financial responsibility for the child.

That matters in stepparent adoption cases.

A child should not have to live in permanent uncertainty because a biological parent repeatedly cycles in and out of jail, changes addresses, disappears, reappears, and then claims parental rights only when someone else tries to adopt.

Frequently Incarcerated Parents and the Practical Problem of Service

One of the biggest practical issues in these cases is not always proving the grounds.

Sometimes the first problem is simply getting the parent served.

This is especially true with parents who are frequently incarcerated, constantly changing addresses, moving between counties, staying with different people, or going in and out of jail.

A prudent attorney has to stay on top of that person’s whereabouts.

That may mean checking jail records, Department of Correction records, prior court files, child support records, known addresses, relatives’ addresses, social media information, and any other lawful source that may help locate the parent for service.

Service matters because termination of parental rights is one of the most serious things a court can do.

The court is being asked to permanently end the legal relationship between a parent and child. Because of that, proper notice and service are critical.

If the parent is incarcerated when served, there is also a special statutory notice of rights that must be served on that parent. That notice informs the incarcerated parent that a hearing will be held to determine whether parental rights should be terminated, that the parent has the right to participate and contest the allegations if a timely written answer is filed, and that the parent has important procedural rights in the case.

That step should not be overlooked.

If service is not handled correctly, the case can be delayed, challenged, or damaged. In a contested adoption, details matter. Service is one of those details.

Failure to Manifest an Ability and Willingness to Parent

Another ground that may come up is failure to manifest an ability and willingness to assume legal and physical custody or financial responsibility for the child, combined with a risk of substantial harm if the child were placed with that parent.

That is a mouthful.

In plain English, the court is looking at whether the parent has shown, through actions and choices, that he or she is actually ready and willing to parent the child.

This can involve issues like instability, substance abuse, criminal behavior, repeated incarceration, repeated absence, failure to support, failure to maintain a relationship, or other conduct showing the parent is not prepared to take responsibility.

The key is that the court is not just looking at what the parent says.

The court is looking at what the parent has done.

A parent who says, “I want my rights,” but has not visited, has not supported, has not maintained stability, and has repeatedly gone in and out of jail may have a serious problem in a contested stepparent adoption.

Severe Abuse, Neglect, or Dangerous Conduct

In some cases, termination may be based on severe child abuse, serious criminal conduct, or other dangerous behavior.

These cases are usually more fact-intensive and may involve prior juvenile court findings, criminal convictions, DCS history, medical evidence, or witness testimony.

Not every stepparent adoption involves abuse. Many are based on absence, abandonment, or consent.

But when there has been serious abuse or danger, the court can consider those facts in determining whether parental rights should be terminated and whether adoption is in the child’s best interest.

Best Interest Still Matters

Even if the court finds a legal ground for termination, that does not automatically end the case.

The court also has to decide whether termination of parental rights is in the child’s best interest.

That is a child-focused question.

The court may consider the child’s need for stability, the relationship between the child and the stepparent, the relationship between the child and the biological parent, the child’s home life, the child’s emotional needs, the history of support and visitation, and whether the adoption gives the child permanence.

In many stepparent adoption cases, the best-interest argument is straightforward.

The child may already live with the parent and stepparent. The stepparent may already be the one helping with school, doctors, sports, homework, discipline, transportation, and daily life. The child may already view the stepparent as a parent.

But the court still has to make the findings.

You still have to prove the case.

Why I Usually Recommend Filing the Adoption and Termination Together in Chancery Court

In Tennessee, a termination of parental rights case can be filed as a separate proceeding, or it can be included as part of the adoption proceeding.

When the goal is stepparent adoption, I generally recommend combining the termination and adoption in the same petition and filing in chancery court when appropriate.

Why?

Because the whole point of the case is adoption.

If you only file a termination case, you may end up fighting the hardest part without getting all the way to the finish line. When the adoption and termination are combined, the court can address both pieces together: first whether the other parent’s rights should be terminated, and then whether the adoption should be granted.

That is usually more efficient and more direct.

It also keeps the case focused on the real goal: giving the child a permanent legal parent-child relationship with the stepparent.

Not Every Stepparent Adoption Is a Fight

It is important to say this clearly: not all stepparent adoptions are contested.

Some are agreed.

Some biological parents understand that the stepparent has been the real parent in the child’s life. Some are willing to consent because they know it is best for the child. Some have not been involved for years and do not want to fight.

Those cases can often move much faster than people expect.

The most difficult cases are the ones where the biological parent has been absent, has not paid support, has not acted like a parent, but suddenly wants to fight the adoption because their rights are finally on the line.

That is when the case becomes contested.

And that is when preparation matters.

You Cannot Just “Surrender Your Rights” to Avoid Child Support

Several times a year, I get calls from parents who say something like this:

“I just want to give up my rights.”

Usually, the real reason is child support.

A parent may be behind on support. Or tired of paying. Or angry at the other parent. Or not involved with the child. So they think they can just sign a paper, surrender their rights, and be done.

That is not how this works.

In Tennessee, you generally cannot just declare that you are no longer a parent. You cannot simply walk away from a child because you do not want to pay support. You cannot privately sign some paper and erase your legal obligations.

The law does not allow a parent to simply make a child legally fatherless or motherless just because that parent wants out.

There usually has to be someone else stepping into that legal role.

Most commonly, that means a stepparent adoption.

For example, if a biological father wants to surrender his rights because the child’s stepfather wants to adopt, that may be possible. The mother and stepfather can file an adoption petition, and the biological father may consent or surrender.

But if there is no adoption, no stepparent, and no person stepping into the role of legal parent, then the parent cannot usually just “give up rights” to avoid support.

Parental rights come with parental responsibilities.

That includes child support.

Termination Ends Future Rights and Responsibilities, Not Past Arrears

Another point people often miss is the difference between future support and past-due support.

If parental rights are terminated and the adoption is completed, the terminated parent generally no longer has future parental rights or future child support obligations.

But that does not necessarily erase child support arrears that already exist.

If a parent owes back child support from before the termination, that debt may still matter. A stepparent adoption is not necessarily a magic wand that wipes out everything owed in the past.

That is another reason people need to understand what they are doing before they sign anything.

What Does the Stepparent Get After Adoption?

Once the adoption is finalized, the stepparent becomes the child’s legal parent.

That means the stepparent is no longer just “Mom’s husband” or “Dad’s wife.”

The stepparent becomes a parent in the eyes of the law.

That can include the right to make decisions for the child, the responsibility to support the child, inheritance rights, and all the legal rights and obligations that come with being a parent.

The child’s birth certificate can also usually be changed to reflect the adoption.

For many families, this is the moment the legal paperwork finally catches up with reality.

What If the Child Is Older?

If the child is older, the child’s wishes may matter too.

In Tennessee, children who are 14 or older generally must consent to the adoption. The court may speak with the child and make sure the child understands what is happening.

That makes sense.

A stepparent adoption is not just about the adults. It is about the child’s identity, family, stability, and future.

Final Thought

Stepparent adoptions can be some of the happiest cases in a courtroom.

But they are also serious legal cases.

When people say “adoption,” they are often really talking about two things: terminating one parent’s rights and then completing the adoption.

If the other parent consents, the process can be much easier. If the other parent surrenders after the case is filed, it can still often be resolved without a full trial. But if the other parent contests it, the case becomes a termination of parental rights case, and the burden of proof is serious.

The court will want to know:

Has the other parent abandoned the child?

Has the other parent failed to visit during the statutory lookback period?

Has the other parent failed to support during the statutory lookback period?

Has the other parent shown an ability and willingness to parent?

Is termination in the child’s best interest?

Will the adoption give the child stability and permanence?

A stepparent adoption is not just about changing a last name. It is about changing a child’s legal family forever.

Done correctly, it can give a child the security of having the person who has already been acting as a parent become that parent in the eyes of the law.